Kajol, that awesome actress, is giving interviews. She’s got a new film releasing on September 7. That’s three Fridays away. Its promotions began last week. Even while the last scene of the film, Helicopter Eela, was being shot. It had Amitabh Bachchan in a cameo. He was reuniting with Kajol after 17 years. They were last seen together in Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham. Director Pradeep Sarkar, who is down with dengue, had to leave his hospital bed to shoot the scene on Tuesday because Mr. Bachchan had no more dates after that. I met Kajol at Sun n Sand in Juhu the day the Marathas declared a bandh in the state. She, husband Ajay Devgn and their children Nysa and Yug, live down the road. But Kajol was late. I think daughter Nysa, who is a precocious teen at 15, engaged her in an argument over wanting to go out and meet her friends. Kajol is a loving parent. But also a disciplinarian. She said “No!” It was a bandh. Anything might happen. Papa Ajay wisely stayed out of it. “His line of retreat has always been, ‘Once Mom says No, how can I say Yes?’ when the kids turn to him for support,” Kajol explained with a laugh. Helicopter Eela, I understand, is a coming of age film in which a single mother’s (Kajol as Eela) big fear over her love for her teenage son (Bengali actor Riddhi Sen) is what will happen to her once he grows up and leaves her. “Indian parents should realise that their kids will grow up, start developing personalities of their own and become adults. So they must grow with their kids, recognise them as equals, and treat them as individuals,” Kajol said. At 44, even from handshaking distance and without makeup, she looks stunning. Kajol always does. And she is as sparkling and exciting as uncorked champagne. Now she was telling me, “I’m a little hassled. Too much is happening. But it’s nice once in a while. At least I can enjoy my vacation after this.” Then she ordered Fish n Chips for herself, coffee for me, did up her hair, slipped off her footwear, put her feet and and said, “Let’s talk!”

It’s a coming of age film because the son has started growing into an adult and developing a personality of his own.

Excerpts from the interview:

Helicopter Eela – where did that come from?

It’s a term the Western world coined for Indian mothers who are completely obsessed with their kids. You know, the kind of mother that hovers above her child all the time saying, “Have you eaten?”, “How many hours you sleep!”, “My God, you’ve grown two inches taller – stand up, let me see!”, “Your clothes don’t fit again?”, “Shall I cook this for you or that?” There are no lines, no boundaries, in our relationships with our children like the West has. There is a point in the film when her son indignantly protests to an intruding Eela, “Mom, can’t you see I’m changing?” But she laughs him off saying, “Arre, I’ve changed your chuddies,  what are you talking about?” It’s such a typical Indian mom thing. There are no boundaries. But it’s all done out of sheer love. That’s Eela’s character. Everything she does for Vivan, her son, is out of her overwhelming love for him.

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Was your mother (Tanuja, the great actress) like Helicopter Eela with you?

Not at all! She was one of the most progressive women I have ever come across. I was 16 years old when I went off to shoot for Bekhudi and I didn’t take any mother figure along. My aunt traveled with me but that was it. My mother let me go with her aashirwad and said, “Work hard. Do well. And don’t worry. You’re in safe hands. Everything will be okay!”

And you, are you a Helicopter Eela with your kids Nysa and Yug?

I try not to be. In our house, it’s more like we have a Helicopter Dad right now! Ajay is as strict as he is indulgent. But I think all mothers are like Helicopter Eela to a certain extent. Eela is a slightly exaggerated version of what we all are in our real lives and which we can’t help being. No matter how hard we try, that level of enthusiasm for our children will always be there. And somewhere down the line, it’s decreed  by society also. It’s also the way we’ve been brought up and what we see everybody else doing as well. But sometimes, I think I honestly fall short. I should be more Helicopterish but I’m not!

This film has no romance, action and regular Bollywood masala. What made you pick it? Was it just the fact that the producer is your husband Ajay Devgn?

I don’t calculate anything when signing films. I’ve always been selective, picky and choosy and that’s got worse with time. You can’t predict if a film will work or not. So I’ve learned to go with what stories appeal to me and make me want to work with them. Helicopter Eela, I liked at the script level. I always wanted to do a film that had a lot of fun and laughter and which gave out a message. But not in the way that the viewers feel suffocated (Kajol grabbed her throat and pretended to throttle herself!) listening to the message. It’s a happy and loving film in which what has to be said is done very nicely with a lot of humour.

When I look at Nysa and Yug, I am so proud that they learned to eat from me, they learned to walk holding my hand, and I know that whatever they stand up for today is because I have taught them that.

Your co-actor Riddhi Sen is 20. Little older than your daughter Nysa. Did that make it easier for you to mother him in the film? He acted in Ajay’s film Parched. Was that why Pradeep Sarkar cast him in Helicopter Eela?

Riddhi is a super actor and he’s a well brought up boy also. He’s very sweet. Very well mannered, too. So it was great fun working with him. It was as easy working with Riddhi as it was sitting and talking with him on so many different topics off camera. We got along well and that contributes to our performances. That helped to make for a very good chemistry on screen. Sometimes in a film you see characters who you feel for sure are great friends off screen as well. Or you just know they have a connect. To my mind that’s called chemistry. Riddhi won the National Award for Best Actor last year for the Bengali film Nagarkirtan. You should see that film. I was blown away. It’s so different from Helicopter Eela. I didn’t recognise him as the actor from Parched. I’m telling you he looks so different now. He came up to me on the sets and said, “Ma’am, you saw Parched – you don’t recognise me?” I honestly didn’t. Dada (Pradeep Sarkar) just told me he’s taking Riddhi. I said, “Who’s Riddhi?” And he showed me this clip from Nagarkirtan. I was, like, “OMG! He’s amazing!”

Eela is shown to be a single mother who puts her dream of becoming a singer on hold to raise her son. You semi-retired from films at the peak of your career because you got married and had children...

Yes, but it wasn’t a sacrifice. Why do we give birth to our kids? So that we can love them. At least that’s my reason. I don’t know what other mothers’ justification for having kids is. I had mine because I wanted children desperately. Not doing a film for some time to take care of them wasn’t a sacrifice. Or some decision that was forced on me for which I felt resentment towards anybody. Or towards the world or society. I did it wholeheartedly and gladly. And today, I love the fact that I did it. When I look at Nysa and Yug, I am so proud that they learned to eat from me, they learned to walk holding my hand, and I know that whatever they stand up for today is because I have taught them that. They are my projects. My Taj Mahal, my Eiffel Tower. My greatest achievements in life, I hope, will always be my children.

The film’s been adapted from the Gujarati play Beta Kaagdo. Did you see it?

No, because I don’t understand Gujarati! I feared I would miss the humour in the situations. Also because I wanted to keep Eela clear. I wanted to make her the way we saw her. I didn’t want to be influenced by the play in any which way. When Anand Gandhi and Mitesh Shah narrated the play to me, I loved it. The character there is eccentric and a bit of a crackpot. Eela is too! But when you see the film, you will realise she’s exactly what you are. A normal person with normal feelings but a little over the top. Everything she does is excessive or exaggerated. You’ll be taken aback.

Do any scenes in Helicopter Eela resonate with your real life?

Plenty! The whole film is like that. No mother will not be able to relate to that. But because Eela is a single mother, her overriding fear is what will happen to her when her son grows up and leaves her. Somewhere down the line, it becomes a story about who is Eela without her son. It’s a coming of age film because the son has started growing into an adult and developing a personality of his own.

What were your emotions when Nysa left to study in Singapore?

I cried lots. Today, when Nysa tells me how tough it can get in boarding school, I turn around and tell her, “Do you understand what we did when we sent you? How tough it was for us? At least 20 times tougher than it’s for you, trust me.” It’s not easy for a parent to send their child away. No matter how much we tell her, I don’t think Nysa will understand this till she has kids of her own. I remember my parents telling me they loved me all the time. And I loved them back, honestly, but I didn’t realise how much my father or mother loved me till I had my own child. Till I had my daughter and looked at her and realised there’s so much work that goes into raising a child the right way. And I thought, wow, my mother also put this much of work into me. When Nysa was three or four, I told my mother, “Mom, my respect for you has gone up humongously just because of everything you taught me.” I hope I’m that kind of mother to my children as well.

You are seen slapping Riddhi a couple of times in the film. I remember you telling me how you spanked Nysa with a hairbrush on her first birthday for misbehaving...

I slap Riddhi more than a couple of times. And I’ve spanked my kids too on many occasions. But never have I raised a hand out of anger or because I was very mad at them. If I spanked them, it was more to get their attention than to actually whack them or hurt them. It was more like, “You bloody well listen to me!” I think kids need to be taught that there are limits. It’s like drawing a line in the sand and saying, “You can go so far and not further.” But trust me, kids need fear. They should be scared of something in their lives!